It just occurred to me that I've read books made up entirely of the thoughts and happenings of everyday people living their everyday lives. Even though I don't expect to be read by anyone else, this thought gives me confidence to write more openly and not be afraid to mull over the less interesting. This confidence will last until I remember how much I did not enjoy those books.
I have a rather plot filled blog coming up, but its so interesting it deserves its very own post (get excited).
Last I left you I was about to go camping. I camped, I read, I conquered. It was nice to be away from the distraction of social media. Not only did I save several hours of each day, it gave my brain time to think about what my own opinions and feelings are, without worrying about how they compare to the world. This was also beneficial for my writing. When on the internet, I am so aware of the sheer mass of writing being produced everyday. In my notebook I can just concentrate on what I want to say. It's a lot less overwhelming and my writing feels special again, being on 1 page out of maybe 90 as opposed to 1 post out of a gajillion (factual statistics provided by yours truly).
So far I've read White Noise and High Fidelity of my favourite youtuber's favourite books. I know they are critically acclaimed and all that jazz, but I wasn't heaps keen. I don't read much realism, which probably helps to explain my general sense of disappointment with life. They were well written and clever, but there was less plot, or rather less romantic fairy tale plot, than I would have liked. They weren't what I was expecting, but the more I think about them, the more they grow on me. Does this mean I'm maturing as an adult? As a reader?
I don't want to mature. In High Fidelity, the main character matures and life has no romance to it what-so-ever. I don't want to live a boring life, with no drama, no heart-wrenching moments, with no romance. As a great philosopher (yes, Disney's very own Belle) once said, I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell. And I really do live for that conclusive moment where you just know that if your life were a movie, emotional music would play and the credits would roll. Then the next day, you get to wake up to the start of a brand new movie, with different conflicts. If your romantic comedy movie part of your life just ended with a kiss, your next movie will be the when will he pop the question one (this will either drag out as a weak comedy, ending happily or will end with a break up and only serve as scene 1 to a movie in which you become a whole new person who don't need no man, but end up with a more attractive one anyway). You can star in several different movies at the same time; working your way up the corporate ladder and having a hilarious Christmas with your family or perhaps if you ever get fired, that is the start of your movie until you get life sorted again. Sometimes life goes into a montage, and you just have to enjoy the less dramatic happy parts.
I get lost in movies and books because I know that life can be awful and that sometimes it actually is how its painted in those realistic novels. But I think it's about what we choose to focus on. I could focus on all the mundane things, the fact that a lot of relationships don't work out, how my house will never be completely clean before someone messes it up. But I'd much rather focus on the romantic things that do exist in my life. And reading books that are more fairy tale than reality, help me to seek out the beauty in my life, they make me believe that its there again, and it gives me hope enough to keep going, through all the badness to find the good.
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