Beliefs Hmmm

Someone asked me the other day what I believe, I told them things that I've been sure of in the past and they began to argue from a very opposing viewpoint. I don't like these questions, partly because I'm not very good at handling conflict (even if its just conflict of opinion), partly because often I think the winner (or stronger argument) is not necessarily the right person but just the one who's been trained in arguing (aka philosophy students), and most of all because I am not formed in my own opinions yet. I love learning the ways other people view the world, and I find it so interesting how many different variations there are of what people think is out there/ up there/ ..in there?

I also don't like the general consensus of what people believe to be offensive. I find that the atheists I have encountered are quick to belittle and mock Christians for their inferior, out-dated beliefs, when they would never do that to a Muslim, or Buddhist because it would be highly offensive. For some reason these (specific) people see Christians as fair game, and assume that if we believe something that goes against what they believe, we are simply foolish, and if only they could explain it to us, then we'd see the error of our ways and thank them profusely for showing us the way to truth.

I didn't realise I was using the inclusive "we" there, until I read it back. I was raised a Christian, and I have reached a stage where I don't just want to believe because my friends and parents tell me its real. I don't want to base it on a feeling because my feelings have led me far astray before. And so that only leaves research. I constantly worry that I was born into the wrong religion. In Christianity its pretty bad to seek other gods apart from God. But that's not what I am doing. I seek because I want to understand, and I want to be so firm and sure in my faith. There have been times when I have been so close with God, where he loved me so much and that love poured out onto others. But I have trouble praying for things these days because my faith is little.

I plan to research other religions. This is a good thing to do, regardless of your own faith. And I plan to look into the main arguments against God, and also the history and verification of the bible. I want to explore some of those tough questions, like why do bad things happen. I like these tough questions, because they confuse my brain, but if you'll allow me to assume for a moment God is real and he is how he's described in the bible, his truth should stand up against the most ridiculous wonderings.

The other problem is, if the bible does speak truth, then the reality of my situation is that there is an evil force working against me believing, which probably sounds crazy to non-believers, but if there's a God, then there's a devil who doesn't want me to believe in God. Its just an annoying additional factor when I'm considering all of this.

So I really do hate when people ask me, because I haven't got around to all of the research yet, and I hate arguing something I'm not certain of (actually I'm just not fond of arguing at all).

Ok, I won't talk about religion again for a while. I'm not normally one for religion talk, because even if I were fervent in my beliefs, I think showing love is heaps more effective than trying to argue with people. I speak here to share my own story, and not with any ulterior motives. I promise.

Also if you see this and feel like you should comment with how could anyone believe such crazy things, firstly, that's someone's reality, sometime's someone's only source of love that you are talking about and secondly if you wish to argue fervently the other way, that's someone's reality you are talking about, have some decency! I hereby banish all argumentative types (regardless of religion) from this blog.